Conker's diary

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Bernardo's worst day ever - by Das Peanutten

Hello to all me brother's fans. I have taken over Conky's blog this week to report on a despicable crime and also on Bernardo's worst day ever... here's what happenned:

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A tabby in the basement

Sometimes these days Furrycat do be letting me out fluffing to be exploring and such but not so often as I would like. We do be having a one way cat door like what we had at Green Wall, so I have to be cunning and be taking me chances to escape when Furrycat and Furrykitten do not be watching.

it be me fluffing outsides

This is a picture of me fluffing around outside. As you can see I still be Porkston but it ain't my faults. Mostly I am inside and there don't be so much to do except be batting Bernardo or Das Peanutten and she be me sister so I don't like to be batting her for fun although she does be creeping ups on me and batting me nose sometimes.

The other day a tabby did be coming in our cat door. Then he did be realising that this be Conky's house and he did be trying to escapes. But he couldn't escapes of course. So he did be staying downstairs and beaking loudly and mournfully every so oftens. Furrycat did be asleep and did not be noticing. Meanwhile me and Das Peanutten could not be going downstairs cause there was a demented tabby down there.

When Furrycat did be waking up and going to get his bike the tabby saw him and went bananas. He did be throwing himself at the door and then he did be hiding. Then Furrycat opened the door and did be finding the tabby and be chasing him out. The tabby does not be liking Das Peanutten for some reason, I don't know why.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Somefink bad, somefink furred

Everyfink seemed like normal when furry cat and furry kitten decided to be putting collars on us. I did be getting mine off and hiding. Then they found me and put it back on again a bit tighter. Das Peanutten hates collars and she be quite depressed. She does be staring into space even more than normals. I don’t be liking collars but I don’t hate them as much as Das Peanutten. My collar is blue and green and Das Peanutten’s is red with grey paw-prints on it. They is supposed to look like cat paws but obviously they are too small, more like mouse paws except mouse paws do not be looking like that. So they look like the paws of a cat what is the size of an ickle mouse, which is fick. Our collars have each got a small metal disc attached with funny scratch marks on it. They be pointless.

Then furry cat did be letting me out! I did be having fun exploring and seeing all the fings and smelling them and also rubbing them so they belong to Conky. At the back of the house there be trees with squirrels and there be a place where Conky can be crawling where there be mice probably. And also I did be seeing some birds. And all sorts of fings which was interesting and I did also be hearing some dogs beaking which was annoying. I also did be finding a cat flap which I did be using and it took me back into the basement. Then I fluffed out the door again. Furry cat did be outside with me so I knew it were OK. Then I went in for some food and furry cat did be shutting the door so I be trapped again. Meanwhile while all this was going on, Das Peanutten did be sulking about her collar and did not even be going outside. I felt sorry for Das Peanutten and did be cleaning her ears and then she did be cleaning mine.