Conker's diary

Monday, January 24, 2005

Somefink bad, somefink furred

Everyfink seemed like normal when furry cat and furry kitten decided to be putting collars on us. I did be getting mine off and hiding. Then they found me and put it back on again a bit tighter. Das Peanutten hates collars and she be quite depressed. She does be staring into space even more than normals. I don’t be liking collars but I don’t hate them as much as Das Peanutten. My collar is blue and green and Das Peanutten’s is red with grey paw-prints on it. They is supposed to look like cat paws but obviously they are too small, more like mouse paws except mouse paws do not be looking like that. So they look like the paws of a cat what is the size of an ickle mouse, which is fick. Our collars have each got a small metal disc attached with funny scratch marks on it. They be pointless.

Then furry cat did be letting me out! I did be having fun exploring and seeing all the fings and smelling them and also rubbing them so they belong to Conky. At the back of the house there be trees with squirrels and there be a place where Conky can be crawling where there be mice probably. And also I did be seeing some birds. And all sorts of fings which was interesting and I did also be hearing some dogs beaking which was annoying. I also did be finding a cat flap which I did be using and it took me back into the basement. Then I fluffed out the door again. Furry cat did be outside with me so I knew it were OK. Then I went in for some food and furry cat did be shutting the door so I be trapped again. Meanwhile while all this was going on, Das Peanutten did be sulking about her collar and did not even be going outside. I felt sorry for Das Peanutten and did be cleaning her ears and then she did be cleaning mine.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Invisible rodents

There do be rodents in me new house. Sometimes when me or Das Peanutten be taking a nap we be hearing them scrambling around but they be no where to be seen! It does by annoying me immensley. What do they fink they is doing? Meanwhile furrycat and furrykitten do not be letting me out fluffing even though I be beaking at them often. Das Peanutten did be breaking out today but only for about twenty seconds. She said it looked pretty furred outside and we should be escaping as soon as possible! I still be eating diet crunchies which don't be tasting so good. I is a bit bored but fings are a bit better than they was. There be stairs and furrycat and furrykitten be around quite a bit to fluff me fur and check me water dish is full.